People who pick up the phone and call a Coach are often feeling stuck. They’re stuck in old patterns. They’re stuck in relationships that aren’t working. Their business is stalled. Often they aren’t able to label the “stuckness” but know that it’s causing pain and they’re ready for it to stop.
So, how do you move out of a rut and back into the forward movement that we crave? A mentor of mine once said, “we could all have everything we want in life if it wasn’t for internal or external blocks.” Sounds simple. External blocks tend to be pretty straight forward. You want to be a teacher but lack the credential. The answer, of course, is to put a plan in place to go back to school and get the degree that you need to be a teacher. External block solved! Why don’t we all have a plan to get everything we want?
The answer is that the internal blocks are usually preventing us from taking concrete steps to get us to our stated goals. The woman who wants to be a teacher has been making every excuse not to get the credential because she fears she will not be able to control her class. She fears that people will discover she’s really not THAT smart. Her students will know she’s a fake.
The truth is we all have this going on inside but spend a lot of energy pushing it away. Wishing it away. Eating it away. Exercising it away. I’m going to suggest you do something crazy and invite this Gremlin, this nasty little critical voice, to come into the light. Look at it. Laugh at it. Talk about it with a trusted friend. Like the witch in the Wizard of Oz, melting in a pool of water, it will begin to shrink and lose its power. As you lose your fear of being exposed, the Gremlin will stop undermining you and the blocks will become more external….and those are (relatively) easy to overcome!
Here’s a framework that many find really useful for moving into action.
There are three questions to ask yourself about whatever you may be working on:
- Intention– Where do you want to end up and why?
- Attention- What are you focusing on? How do you spend your time?
- No tension- How can you be in the flow with your life plan and not feel stressed-out?
Pick one area of your life that’s feeling stuck. Right now a lot of people tell me it’s “finances”.
Using the framework above ask yourself:
- Intention- What’s the goal surrounding your finances and why is this important?
- Attention- How much time, effort and energy are you spending on this topic? Do you have a well-defined plan?
- No tension- Are you stressed out regarding finances? How can you manage your perceptions, attitudes, and expectations to keep from being overwhelmed?
Having clarity around these three things will feel like a huge relief and get you into action in ways you cannot imagine. Give it a try!
More Ideas for Getting UNSTUCK
- Go to TED.com. On this website, visionaries talk for 18 minutes about their passions and expertise. There are many subjects brilliantly presented just waiting to inspire you.
- Try stream of consciousness writing. Often we don’t know what’s getting in our way and this is one way to uncover the roadblock. Simply spend 15 minutes writing at a given time every day. Whatever comes to your mind goes on the paper. Consistency and flow are key. Just let yourself be uncorked and you’ll be surprised what bubbles up.
- Phone a friend. This tactic is not only good for finding answers on game shows. Who do you know that is not judgmental and can be a sounding board for you? Sometimes just sharing helps to clarify your situation. (Relatives and competitive girlfriends need not apply).